Need A Good Laugh?

Here are a couple of jokes.....Enjoy!!!

Overbooked Flight:

In an airport boarding area they announced that the flight was overbooked.

The airline was looking for volunteers to give up their seats. In exchange, they'd give you a $100 voucher for your next flight and a first class seat in the plane leaving an hour later.

About eight people ran up to the counter to take advantage of the offer.

About 15 seconds later all eight of those people sat down grumpily as the lady behind the ticket counter announced:

"If there is anyone else OTHER than the flight crew who'd like to volunteer, please step forward."

............................................................................................................................
The next set of jokes were forwarded by Email from a friend of mine:

1. To commemorate the release of the topless photos of Kate Middleton, Royal Doulton will be releasing a Collector's Edition of two small jugs.

2. Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.

3. A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt ................. Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche...
4. Just A Reminder to those who stole Electrical Goods in Last Years Riots....Your One Year Manufacturers Warranty Runs Out Soon.
5. "ITS A BOY" I shouted "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, ITS A BOY" and with tears streaming down my face I swore I'd never visit another Thai  brothel!
6. Two Indian  junkies occidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine, both in hospital...one's in a korma.. the other's got a dodgy tikka!
7. The 100m final at the 2012 Olympics was just like another Friday night in Brixton. You heard a gunshot followed by 8  guys legging it!

8. In the first few days of the Olympics the Romanians took gold, silver, bronze, copper, lead and anything else they could get their bloody hands on.
9. Sailing results are in, GB took gold, USA took silver and Somalia took a middle aged couple from Weymouth .

.............................................................................................................................................................

Senor Roy Gets A Call:

At dawn the telephone rings,

"Hello, Senor Roy ? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."

"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Roy, that your parrot, he is dead".

"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"

"Si, Senor, that's the one."

"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"

"From eating the rotten meat, Seor Roy."

"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"

"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."

"Dead horse? What dead horse?"

"The thoroughbred, Seor Roy."

"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"

"Yes, Senor Roy, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."

"Are you insane? What water cart?"

"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor."

"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"

"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."

"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!"

"Yes, Senor Roy ."

"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"

"For the funeral, Senor Roy."

"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!"

"Your wife's, Senor Roy. She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Ping G20  204g titanium head golf club with the TFC 149D graphite shaft."

SILENCE...........

LONG SILENCE.........

VERY LONG SILENCE…………

"Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep s##t."

 

Time Goes By So Fast:

For some odd reason I still feel like I'm on the 5th week of the semester but it's not true. It's the 12th week....Oh God, time is going by so fast.
Oh and guess what, we have around 15 days (excluding today) till New Years Eve :D :D :D :D :D :D
And also like around 10 days till Christmas Day and Dido's Birthday (lol, I think I might be too obsessed with her music, but her music is SO good compared to the other singers nowadays -I think she should sing with Katy Perry & Adele, right?).

As of January 5 2013, there will be no updates for a month because I will be having final exams and then on the January 10 2013, I will be travelling for a bit (not sure for how long, maybe for like 2 weeks or more).
There might be some updates maybe once I finish my exams (on the 9th of January 2013) but there will definitely be some updates as of January 30th 2013 :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D 

Dido News: New Album News

Here are a couple of things that you might want to know about Dido's new upcoming album "Girl Who Got Away".

First is that the album is destined to released on March 4th 2013, but before that on January 31st 2013, her first single "No Freedom" will be released in certain areas (Probably in the UK) . The full version of her song "No Freedom" will be playing on the radio (probably around the world) on the end of December 2012, which is right now :)

Next on the list, Dido has just been voted as the sexiest women in the world by some magazine called "Glamour" in the UK. 

Moving on, Dido has also been filming the music video of "No Freedom" in LA. Her photos were recently found on an article based on the LA Times newspaper and the song has a cool car (A picture tells a 1000 words).

Last but not least, Dido has leaked a new song to the public as of the 14th of December 2012. The name of the song is called "Let Us Move On" and she is singing with a hip-hop artist Kendrick Lamar ( I know he sang with Lil Wayne or something like that). Anyways the song is now available on her website (www.didomusic.com). I have posted the lyrics below, followed by a Youtube video :)
Oh and I forgot to mention that Dido will be releasing to versions of the song, the Economic edition and the Deluxe edition (just like her previous album "Safe Trip Home") and in the Deluxe album, there are going to be 18 songs (6 additional songs instead of 12 songs only like in the economic edition) and in this song Benny Bennasi will be making an Official Remix of her song "No Freedom" and also Armin Van Buuren will be making a remix of her song "Everything To Lose". Yes, that song is added in her new album (Thank God ) but "If I Rise" isn't added...I'm not sure why, though.

Dido – Let Us Move On Lyrics (feat. Kendrick Lamar) Lyrics

Dido:
Don’t wrap it up and go,
Or hide it behind the sun
Just give it to me as it is,
And let it stand
Don’t fly it like a kite, between the clouds
It needs no excuse, just bring it down

Chorus:
Let us that are in pain look upon it
In all its glory
Let us move on
Let us move on
This is short and it will pass
Let us move on
Let us move on
For this is short, and it will pass

Every voice that is lifted, river and some pain
Show us now, and let love not be chained
We should feel what we can stop let us be alive
Show enough, and we’ve done, now we can

Chorus:
Let us that are frozen get to see
In all its glory
Let us move on
Let us move on
For this is short and it will pass
Let us move on
Let us move on
For this is short, and it will pass

And let all that is lost be forgotten, and it will pass
So let all that is lost be forgotten
Let us move on

Kendrick Lamar:
Like the waters and the open sea
With tribulation come over you say yes hopefully
And yesterday you could probably say there’s no hope for me
But today I’m overly dedicated
I’m posting via testimony for broken hearts in the city
You’re either crash-landing or planning on flying with me
Misery love standing behind his company,
Well, vividly I could see that your feelings would like to dwell
On our past encounters, reaching over the counter
Told me that it’s appealing to ṗop a pill less or down now
I heard emotions burn deep,
I heard when you fall out of love, the drop is deep
I heard when you see a thug that’s what you try to be
Git these burdens under my wings but I’m still free
Cause I can make the decision to let it all go away
Before I ever run astray, I looked you in the eye and say

Dido:
Chorus:
Let us move on
Let us move on
For this is short and it will pass
Let us move on
Let us move on
For this is short, and it will pass

Let us move on
Let us move on
For this is short and it will pass
Let us move on
Let us move on
For this is short, and in the past
And in the past

Here is the Video

Just 3 Facebook Covers That I Made:

Dido Announces Her New Album:

UPDATE: The Album Will Be Released On March 4 2013

Yes, It's OFFICIAL at long last, Dido has finally revealed the name of her new album. It's called "Girl Who Got Away". Wikipedia states that the album should be revealed in 2013, but Dido's Twitter page mentions that Dido is now listening to the final edition of her tracks for the new album.
So I'm assuming that the album might arrive on Christmas (Inshallah :D :D :D). If not, then it might arrive on January and Dido mentioned that once the album is released, she'll go on tour, though tour dates of where and when are not confirmed.
She might end up having the tour in London and probably different parts of the UK (Brixton? Maybe).

Also Dido's website www.didomusic.com has been updated with a new design and it has also been linked with her Twitter account.

And finally one of the people that Dido has been singing with is  Peter Agyagos. I'm not too sure who this person is. Rockceller Magazine says that Dido's new album has enlisted the help with A.R Rahman, Nelly Furtado, Shakira, Sister Bliss, Faithless, Rollo Armstrong and several other people.

Update: A preview of one of the songs from Dido's new album "Girl Who Got Away" called "No Freedom" has been leaked on to the internet. Members of the Dido Community have been reporting it, because they don't want to hear the song until the entire album is finished. Dido HQ has also removed the song and several links that it had been posted on (Youtube, Facebook, Soundcloud). It's best not to listen to that song until the album is released, but then again if you heard it, Do Not Spread it Around until the album is released.

Dido Armstrong & Her Brother Rollo Armstrong Taken From Dido's Twitter Account.

The Album Will Be Released On March 4 2013

Traffic In The UAE:

There is so much traffic nowadays around the UAE, especially on weekdays and of course during the weekends. The traffic is just getting worse by the second. The picture above shows how bad the traffic is to get to the Dubai Mall, I was using Al Khail Road to get to the mall instead of the Sheikh Zayed Road.
This was on a Wednesday night, not a good night to go driving, especially when the light turns green, EVERYONE is literally asleep. WTF is wrong with those drivers. Either they drive on the road, or simply use public transportation. If you want to sleep, just go back home. Don't even leave your house, just stay in bed and sleep.
I would highly recommend that the Police come and deal with the situation or even call the RTA (Road & Transportation Authorities) to fix these problems.

I Would NOT recommend anyone to visit Dubai Mall during the weekends as the traffic gets much worse, no matter how early you go and they have NO parking at all.
Go to a different mall or whatever, just don't go there, this place gets extremely overcrowded.

Where Is The Time?

Over the past couple of months, I have been overwhelmed with a lot of work(both university and personal time). There are just so many things that need to be done and I have actually created a "To Do" list that is still incomplete. I have just started doing some of several items on my list, such as to watch a couple of shows, study for whatever subjects I have this semester, deal with my weight (which is still in progress), fix the damn internet (Etishitfuck is still giving me problems) and several others

Also in other news, I have finally reached my third year of University. I am so relieved to have reached this far, in life, I'm so close to graduation, but I never realized how much work the professors keep giving the students :/
Well, it is university and it's not school any more and I just have to live with it and face reality :P
It's a little too much at times but I manage to get them done in time and the classes are longer than before and a little more spread out. I had also decided that I'm going to learn a new hobby during the semester.

So far, I haven't revealed the new hobby yet, so everyone will just have to be patient. I plan to reveal my new hobby probably in a year or less.

Oh and I forgot to mention that I also got a new desktop PC because my other PC kind of died out, so it took quite sometime for me to search for a new desktop computer and I found one at the store and bought one. It's a customized computer that's pretty powerful....lets hope that it would last long (at least 3 or 4 years)

Attention Sims Community:

Listen if you are living or visiting in the UAE, The Sims 3: Diesel SP And Beyond is OFFICIALLY BANNED!
If you need to order it, you will need to switch your servers (Africa & Middle East - which is us at the moment), Switch to the US or the UK Edition NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DON'T BUY FROM VIRGIN MEGASTORE IN THE UAE!!!!

2 Places That Aren't Worth Supporting In The UAE:

Over the years , the UAE has progressed dramatically and they have opened they're doors to many international companies and of course they have allowed them to do business in the UAE. Such as bringing the communities different types of stores (electronics, clothing, food, different types of eco-friendly power like solar & nuclear and so on). With these new places I find that there are a bunch of stores that are not worth supporting at all.
The number 1 company that you should NEVER support is Etisalat (aka Etishitfuck/Etislut), they provide the UAE with lies about internet and phone services. They are just a bunch of thieves that are just trying to steal money from you by "offering amazing services". I believe that the UAE needs to shutdown that company and leave it alone. They are just cheating everyone and not even saying anything true about their services.

That company is doing too many sinful things and they are abusing the UAE's power. I don't know what to say but I advise everyone NEVER to use their services....use something else such as AT&T, Verizon, Orange, Vodaphone, T-Mobile or Anything else. DON'T use Etishitfuck!
Oh and their internet connection on being the best internet in the world is filled with lies, lies and even more lies. They say that their internet is the best thing in this world. Trust me, from a person who's stuck using this slow internet, it's not worth it. They say the internet is supposed to be fast (for example 4mbs). Yeah, right. It's barely 0.2kb. Don't even call their customer services section, they literally have no clue on what their job is about. it's like talking to a wall.

The second company is Virgin Megastore at the Dubai Mall (Yes, they actually opened it there, which is sad). This company is ONLY selling Overpriced Fake products ONLY. Oh and most of their products are banned in the UAE. I highly recommend visiting other areas to buy your electronics (Sharaf  DG, Plugins) or simply just go online and buy everything off Amazon it's worth it and it's a 100% guaranteed satisfaction or your money back. oh and there is a Ship & buy option through Aramex. The only thing that wouldn't be allowed in the UAE are just pornographic material, things relating to drugs, military weapons.

Updates On Everything:

Hey Everyone,
                     How are you all doing? Hows Ramadan treating you all? I hope all of you are enjoying it despite the weather isn't helping us a lot in Dubai (heatwaves). I'm enjoying the Holy month of Ramadan, it's nice that it's not as crowded this time of year because most of the westerners have left the UAE to see the Olympics in the UK.
Anyways other than that, I know I haven't been updating my blog as much as I used to before, it's just that I never really had the time to actually update my blog and with the current internet that I'm using, unfortunately it's not really helping me at all.
Also in other news, Dido has OFFICIALLY announced that she has already completed her new album :D :D :D
Finally and she has posted this on her Twitter Account:

"...doesn't matter what happens now. i've officially finished all my vocals for the album. very good feeling. xxx..."

Dido & Her Brother Rollo Armstrong At Dido HQ 6th August 2012

And that's about it. Oh and I'll be starting a Facebook Fan Page, which will be open to the public in a couple of weeks from now :)

From

Retrotrut

Le Rage Comic:

Here is a Rage Comic that I have just created about what's going on in the UAE and the rest of the world. LOL